It’s that time of year again.
The time where you reevaluate you life and toss out what you don’t need, and make goals for the future.
The time where you find out who really cares about you and gives you a personal, meaningful gift for Christmas, or skips town quickly before a possible one-sided awkward gift exchange can take place.
The time for inevitable change, not only with classes and weather, but with ideas and thinking.
For me, this time is pivotal. My brother is graduating from Utah State University after his clearly focused 6 years, and getting commissioned into the United States Army. My entire family is going to be in town… we had to buy 29 tickets! That’s a lot of relatives, a lot of hugs, and a lot of smiling… I can feel my cheeks hurting already. I’m super depressed about him leaving though! He was the one that showed me around USU’s campus my first day up here, and has been with me, here, everyday of my college career! What will Logan even be like without him here?!?! Ug. And I can’t even be scared for him going off into the army and all because he is getting stationed in Hawaii for three years!!! ROUGH LIFE!!! Get your tuition, books, rent and everything else paid for while your at school… for what?!?! A three year vacation?!?! Geez… should’ve joined the army my freshman year…
So this brings on another huge decision in my life… where do I live next semester? You see… Lacey is my brothers wife, and she has a two bedroom apartment that next semester will just have her in it and she doesn’t want to live alone… do I live with her? I have a contract at Bridgerland apartments will my long time buddy Emily, whom I absolutely adore and love to the core… but does family take precedence over that? It’s in Providence, so much further from campus in Logan. And it would be extremely hard to leave Emily, and I haven’t sold my apartments contract, so I would be paying for a place I’m not living in. ug.
Another life decision… I’m thinking of changing my major to Deaf Education. I would love it for sure but that means I would have so much further to go in school! I only have three semesters left with Public Relations and love the field… ug.
I don’t even want to get started on my Christmas shopping… it’s too overwhelming and is 30 decisions wrapped up into one task. Not satisfying at all. Well…until Christmas day that is.
More life decisions are ahead… New Years Resolutions… become a better person, loose weight, be a better friend, straight A’s, study more, smile, laugh and have more fun… and all that other idealistic crap we fool ourselves into believing for three… maybe four days. Till January 5th hits and we sink back into our old, comfortable habits.
Life is too permanent for me.
Can I just not make decisions? Dance through it like nothing affects me?
Meh.
